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Cat Joke Unites Cat Lovers

Reposted from http://www.ch9.co.nz/node/95838

July 12, 2013

A recently set up Facebook page is getting a lot of attention from local cat owners.

The creator of Dunners Cat of the Day says she got the idea from a university page that featured female students.

And what started out as a joke has now become a fun pastime, bringing together cat lovers across the city.






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According to a recent database of more than 450,000 pets insured by Veterinary Pet Insurance, the top cat names are as follows-

1. Max

2. Chloe

3. Lucy

4. Tigger

5. Tiger

6. Smokey

7. Oliver

8. Bella

9. Sophie

10. Princess

The most recent statistics on how many households own a cat is 38.4 million homes.

The total number of cats owned is 88.3 million according to the APPMA.

The largest cat is the Ragdoll, the largest fully domestic breed of cat.

Cats spend a great deal of their time sleeping. The average cat sleeps for 13-18 hours a day.

I'm only a cat,

and I stay in my place...

Up there on your chair,

on your bed or your face!

I'm only a cat,

and I don't finick much...

I'm happy with cream

and anchovies and such!

I'm only a cat,

and we'll get along fine...

As long as you know

I'm not yours... you're all mine!

Cats sleep anywhere, any table, any chair.

Top of piano, window-ledge, in the middle, on the edge.

Open drawer, empty shoe, anybody's lap will do.

Fitted in a cardboard box, in the cupboard with your frocks.

Anywhere! They don't care! Cats sleep anywhere.

When God created kitty cats,

He had no recipe;

He knew He wanted something sweet,

As sweet as sweet could be.

He started out with sugar,

Adding just a trace of spice;

Then stirred in drops of morning dew,

To keep them fresh and nice

He thought cats should be soft to pet,

Thus he gave them coats of fur;

So they could show they were content,

He taught them how to purr.

He made for them long tails to wave,

While strutting down the walk;

Then trained them in meow-ology,

So they could do cat-talk.

He made them into acrobats,

And gave them grace and poise;

Their wide-eyed curiosity,

He took from little boys.

He put whiskers on their faces,

Gave them tiny ears for caps;

Then shaped their little bodies,

To snugly fit on laps.

He gave them eyes as big as saucers,

To look into man's soul;

Then set a tolerance for mankind,

As their purpose and their goal.

Benevolent ... and ... Generous,

He made so many of them;

Then charged, with fatherly concern,

The human race to love them.

When one jumped up upon His lap,

God gently stroked its head;

The cat gave Him a kitty kiss,

"What wondrous love," God said.

God gently stroked its head; The cat gave Him a kitty kiss, What wondrous love," God said. God smiled at His accomplishment,

So pleased with His creation;

And said, with pride, as He sat back,

"At last. . .I've reached purr-fection!"

Cats in physics

Law of Cat Inertia

A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.

Law of Cat Motion

A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.

Law of Cat Magnetics

All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.

Law of Cat Thermodynamics

Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.

Law of Cat Stretching

A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.

Law of Cat Sleeping

All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved as is possible for the cat.

Law of Cat Elongation

A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top that has anything remotely interesting on it.

Law of Cat Acceleration

A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.

Law of Dinner Table Attendance

Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.

Law of Rug Configuration

No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.

Law of Obedience Resistance

A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do something.

First Law of Energy Conservation

Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.

Second Law of Energy Conservation

Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.

Law of Refrigerator Observation

If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.

Law of Electric Blanket Attraction

Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.

Law of Random Comfort Seeking

A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.

Law of Bag / Box Occupancy

All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.

Law of Cat Embarrassment

A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.

Law of Milk Consumption

A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.

Law of Furniture Replacement

A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.

Law of Cat Landing

A cat will always land in the softest place possible.

Law of Fluid Displacement

A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the amount of milk consumed.

Law of Cat Disinterest

A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.

Law of Pill Rejection

Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.

Law of Cat Composition

A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.


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